The Stinking Rose (A garlic restaurant): Silence of the Lamb Shank

I recently found myself on a business adventure to San Francisco, so I relied on my trusty Nate's Plate tipsters for recommendations. The first one was for the Stinking Rose -- The Garlic Restaurant, and it was no bum tip.

I called on the walk over and the pre-recorded cheesy fake Italian voice. was promoting dinner reservations. When we arrived and saw all the people dining, as well as people hanging out in the lobby, I felt like a fool for not getting reservations, but my colleague Jason and I got seated right away.

The placed reeked of garlic upon entry, but I quickly adjusted and felt comfortable knowing I definitely wasn't dining in the vicinity of vampires. I was safe from getting my blood sucked on the way home too, because I caught a whiff of myself immediately upon return to my room. I was sure to use all of the 1.0-oz complimentary shower products the next morning.

But, back to dinner. The Stinking Rose offers a lot of wines, including what was being passed off as garlic wine (which I sadly didn't try), but I got the "large" Peroni. In Michigan, a pint is a large beer, but the large beer here is much larger than a pint, which could also be ordered. After receiving our large beers, Jason and I ordered and were served garlic bread. I went to the bathroom to "freshen up" and dinner -- the cleverly named Silence of the Lamb Shank -- arrived right as I returned to the table.



The dish is named so because it comes with a chianti-based glaze and fava beans ... get it? Any way, the lamb shank was just right -- moist tender and succulent, with no knife needed. The meat fell off the bone so easily that I finished the main course before I finished my beer.

After finishing my entree, I was perfectly, comfortably full and totally forgot all about the garlic ice cream dessert I had been anticipating. Blast! I need to go back for that.

Upon awakening the following morning, I was surprised that my mouth didn't taste like garlicky corpses like it normally would after such a clove-fest. How'd they manage to make garlic dishes so that the taste and odor don't stick to my tongue like white on rice? I did have a moment of panic when I got dressed and began to smell cooking odors, but it turned out to be the restaurant downstairs from the hotel and not me.

Nate's Plate definitely declares the Stinking Rose to be a San Francisco treat.

Louisville dining

Being from metro Detroit, it's always nice to get out and visit a functioning city with loads of interesting restaurants and friendly people. This past weekend, that city was Louisville. Why Louisville? It's home to Lebowski Fest. Need more reasons to visit Louisville? Ask an old woman. They always act gleeful when I tell them I have been there. Any hoo ... As always, I ate a lot. There were plenty of individual things I could have reviewed, but I was living in the moment so I will let these pictures do the talking.


Beer:30 Light. We stayed with my friend Brennen who is in charge of buying beer for Whole Foods. He gets to try a lot of interesting beers including this one, which he unfortunately isn't carrying in his store. I was told it is only sold in 30 packs. It really hit the spot because on the hot drive down, I was craving a cheap beer and this was the only one in Brennen's 'fridge that didn't require a special glass for proper consumption.


White Russians. The official drink of Lebowski Fest. $4.50 a pop. Last time I drank these in Louisville, they contributed to alcohol poisoning. This round was without incident.


Lynn's Paradise Cafe. This place was recommended to us by a friend back home. Brennen told us that you pay more for the experience than the food. When we got the bill, we saw that he was right, but both were damn good. Lynn's Bourbon Ball French Toast was featured on Throwdown with Bobby Flay, and that's what Jayme ordered. It was rich goodness.


Jayme with her Bourbon Ball French Toast.


My breakfast burrito. I'd never had one in my life. I actually really wanted some huevos rancheros and this was the closest thing on the menu. Not bad, but it got cold pretty quickly. Notice the coffee and $8.95 "gigantic" mimosa.


Inside Lynn's.


The grave of Colonel Sanders. It was an inspiring and emotional pilgrimage. We were told that the KFC around the corner has notoriously terrible service.


Lolita's Tacos. Yes, this is real. No, she is not open on weekends. Unacceptable. It was the first thing we noticed when we got off of the freeway. We were told the food is actually pretty good. 99-cent tacos can be had after 5:00 during the week.


The "Dippidy Do" at El Mundo -- An awesome Mexican place by the train tracks. Dinner here was actually cheaper than breakfast at Lynn's. We ate in the pebble-covered back yard. This appetizer consisted of salsa, guacamole, bean dip (all mine), and salsa verde.


Crispy pork tacos at El Mundo. Notice the bottom of the glass at the top of the photo...


... That glass contains a "Mango Stanger" -- A mango cocktail with pepper juice. It's delicious, with a slight burn in the throat. Drink, get burned. Drink to quench the burn. Get burned. Repeat. Delicious.


Mojitos at El Mundo. The biggest and best I've had. Note the Spanish-speaking adolescent in the background.


"ACE BLT" at Wild Eggs, a little joint in the suburbs with a big wait. The ACE is for Avocado, Cheddar (yes, I ate something with cheese), Egg. The Egg was over-medium, which is a terrible idea for something meant to be eaten with one's hands. All of the yolk went all over my hand with the first bite and my hand reeked for the six-hour drive home. The fresh-squeezed orange juice, however, was delicious -- and available in a pitcher.

If you go to Louisville for vacation, I definitely recommend eating food while you're there. While you're at it, go to Whole Foods, ask for Brennen and tell him to stock Beer:30 Light.

Eating alone

Tonight, as a 25-year-old, I ate alone in a restaurant for the first time in my entire life.

Sure, I've gone to coffee shops by myself, but that seems normal because you're supposed to look thoughtful with your weathered Sartre paperback or your MacBook.

But tonight, I ate a turkey burger and drank a Bell's Two-Hearted all by myself at the Emory in Ferndale. And it wasn't that bad.

I imagined it would be that bad, and more. As an only child I have had more than my share of "me time" so I don't really feel a need to seek opportunities in daily life to kick it by myself. When I have plans to meet friends somewhere and I show up first (which is every time) I feel really weird and like an asshole for sitting at a giant table all by myself.

Tonight, though, I NEEDED that turkey burger and no one was around. So after I took my Vespa on some errands, I climbed into that u-shaped booth to see what would happen.

First of all, like always, the server came by with two table settings. I placed my drink order and she brought it, then disappeared for some time. Apparently she just assumed I was waiting for someone. After all, I go to the Emory quite often and have never eaten alone in my life.


Eventually she came back to ask "are you okay?" (verbatim) and I said yes, I was flying solo and I would need a turkey burger to continue being okay.

Eating alone turned out not to be that bad.

I'm on my iPhone all the time any way, and tonight I learned that it wants to replace the word "doodles" with "doodies" (here's why I found out). Plus, there was no one around to swipe any of my aioli sauce.

And yes, the turkey burger was damn good. That's why I considered eating alone in the first place.

Homebrewing adventures: Pale chocolatey stout part three -- Bottling day!

I have to confess something. Last week, when I wrote that I was never going to write about homebrewing on a Tuesday, I was lying. I have a bunch of really good excuses too! Plus, I got an email yesterday saying something sure to stimulate the arteries was shipped to my house and it will definitely make up for this.

But what's more important is that 49 bottles of pale kinda chocolatey stout are now carbonating in bottles in a basement in Redford, Michigan. The best part is that the beer smells like Count Chocula. A non-carbonated room-temperature taste test indicates a mild chocolatey, sort of creamy flavor with very little hop bitterness. If our calculations are right, it's around 6% alcohol. Oh and we're probably going to call it Count Chocustout.

Sanitize your bottles (no twist-offs!), bottling bucket, racking cane, bottling wand, etc. Properly sanitizing everything is a huge pain in the ass and wastes tons of our precious time takes patience and is a very important step!


Syphon the beer from the carboy into the bottling bucket, which in our case is the "deluxe" fermenter. See how much beer you can spill on the floor.


Here's the bottling wand. It has a flimsy valve in the bottom that likes to stick, giving you more opportunities to spill beer on the floor. It's also nice because your hands will smell like beer for about 12 hours after you use this.


The bottling wand in action. Pretty exciting. Leave 1.5 inches or so of air at the top of the bottle when filling it.


Cap your bottles with this device that looks sort of like a Snood character with long arms. Make sure that you've sanitized your caps and you have more caps available than bottles in case some of them get messed up.


Take a little sample while you're at it.


Look for a review of my own beer in the coming weeks.

Homebrewing adventures: Pale chocolatey stout part two

Last weekend (the 25th), we decided to transfer the beer into the secondary fermenter. It definitely smells like alcohol now, so that's a fun surprise. As you can see in the last photo, it's quite pale for a stout. Note from the editor: The stats in my Google Analytics account tell me that you guys aren't really into these beer brewing tales, so they'll no longer be Tuesday features -- just a little something extra.

Siphon the beer from the primary fermenter into the "carboy" (secondary fermenter). This usually takes a few tries and you're guaranteed to get some partially fermented beer on the floor. Get a dog to lick it up.


Yeast sludge in the bottom of the "deluxe" primary fermenter. Perhaps we should have made some Vegemite with this.


The carboy all full and sealed up with the air lock. This lets the beer continue fermenting without sitting on a bunch of yeast sludge.


See Homebrewing adventures part one >

Homebrewing adventures: The first ever pale (and kinda chocolaty) stout

Once upon a time in a land far far away (Ypsilanti, MI), my roommate and I decided we needed to start brewing beer in our apartment. So one Saturday morning, we ventured to the supply shop, bought a bunch of equipment and an "everything you need in one box" kit to make some Oktoberfest. It turned out pretty well, minus the fact that we added too much water, thus creating the first ever "Oktoberfest Lite." As we brewed successive batches of different beers, we became more confident, and experimented a bit. There was debate about which of our beers was the best -- Ian liked one because it tasted like apples, but I told him that was because we probably didn't disinfect everything properly and contamination can lead to an apple-y taste (this is true).

Our last (failed) endeavor was to make a chocolate stout. We went to the store to get what we needed, forgot to grab some things, and then the bags of grain broke open in the parking lot and a surprising amount of grains went into my shoes. We soon moved out of that apartment and went our separate ways, with Ian keeping the cat in exchange for me keeping the brewing equipment.

Over the past two or three years every time we got together, we'd say "we should brew some beer soon." Well, we were just spewing hot air -- until this weekend. Our brew features chocolate malt, and LOTS of pale malt extract, so we expect it to be light in color and heavy in alcohol. Here's what happens on homebrewing day one (and look for progress updates over the coming weeks).

Steep the grains in the sock thing (don't use a real sock, please) until the water reaches 170º. There are two gallons of purified water in the pot.


Add the malt extract once the water has boiled, then wait 'til it begins to boil again. It will probably boil over at least three times.


Add bittering hops then boil for 55 minutes while stirring incessantly so that sticky malt sludge doesn't burn onto the bottom of the pot.



Add finishing hops and boil for five more minutes.


Cool rapidly to 70º. We have not successfully cooled the wort (pre-beer stew) rapidly, ever. And no, we usually don't leave the lid on. We just didn't want a squirrel to get in there.



Add three more gallons of purified water to the wort in the fermenter. The prior two gallons have boiled down significantly. Add the yeast.


Use a hydrometer to determine the wort's "original gravity" to help determine alcohol content later on. Now you know what the "high gravity" comes from on your favorite malt liquor's label. And yes, you can see "Homebrewing for Dummies" here.


Seal up the "deluxe fermenter" and secure the airlock. Be nervous that it's not going to work until it starts bubbling the next day, then call your friends and brag.


See Homebrewing adventures part two >