Monday, April 27, 2009

The 7-11 Mutant Berry Slurpee: A guest post

On Thursday, April 9, 2009 at 10:12 p.m., my friend Mike "tweeted" about wanting to know why 7-11 would create a Slurpee flavor called "Mutant Berry." I suggested that he review it for Nate's Plate and he agreed. I quickly forgot about this until last Friday when he asked for my email address so he could send me his review. I assume he got to sample the frozen treat at work since he photographed it next to a fax machine and he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who owns a fax machine. What we have here is more of a sneak preview about the consequences of this concoction, which happens to be neon orange -- a color unaffiliated with any berry having regular genetics. Also noteworthy is the fact that he would "never!!!!" drink it again.

Armageddon is upon us. Why in God's name is 7-11 selling a Slurpee flavor titled "Mutant Berry"?? In a world of "EXTREME" beverages at my disposal with contents like Guarana (which NO ONE knows what it is, but I thought it's what you call bat shit), why would someone want to "mutate" a berry? The title of said drink is, in fact, accurate; it is like no flavor known to the natural world. It is a pomegranate / cherry / lime fusion that I can only describe as "the end of the world ... in a cup." 20 ounces of a frosty beverage that would scare Moses himself right out of his sandals. This is not a good sign of things to come ...

Get on down to 7-11 and let me know what you think. -Nate

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Cock-flavoured soup mix

... It's a link. Thanks again, Amber!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Jones' Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage

Something to hold you over until my next review ...

Thanks, Amber.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Ice Cream Dance

Since you all told me on Facebook that you love when I post videos instead of eating real food, here's a music video about ice cream in the "Baltimore" music style.

Thanks, Rachel.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

"Viral" videos for Domino's Pizza

Call me a muck-raker. Blame it on the fact that I was too tired to eat anything exciting last night. Either way, here's this video of some jackasses messing with food in the back of a Domino's Pizza. This is particularly intriguing to me since I went to college in Ypsilanti, MI (here's a song about it) where the first Domino's Pizza was established.

This is certainly on topic for my "low-brow food" theme.

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Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I have been eating like a pregnant woman

I ate like a pregnant woman yesterday and the day before.

Sunday was a real throwback to my college days: I dusted my house and ate a late lunch consisting of a salad, picante chicken Ramen noodles, and some more deep-fried peanuts. I felt nauseous and had a headache. Then, for dinner, I had pizza, bread sticks, and two more salads. And I felt better.

Yesterday (Monday), I had a garlic bagel on my way to the office, some Andy Capp's Hot Fries at around 10 am, a Kashi Tuscan Veggie Bake for lunch, then a "hungry size" bag of pretzels, then a snickers bar. Dinner was Morningstar Farms simulated buffalo wings, followed by two leftover pancakes from Saturday morning. I felt nauseous and had a headache. Then I went to the grocery store and only bought healthy snacks for the rest of the week, like carrots, celery and roasted red chili pepper hummus.

This is why I didn't review the top-secret Canadian Doritos I recently picked up in Toronto.

This is a picture of a small piece of double-chocolate cheesecake with some gold flakes on it. It was served to me on a train from Toronto to Windsor, Ontario.