Monday, April 27, 2009

The 7-11 Mutant Berry Slurpee: A guest post

On Thursday, April 9, 2009 at 10:12 p.m., my friend Mike "tweeted" about wanting to know why 7-11 would create a Slurpee flavor called "Mutant Berry." I suggested that he review it for Nate's Plate and he agreed. I quickly forgot about this until last Friday when he asked for my email address so he could send me his review. I assume he got to sample the frozen treat at work since he photographed it next to a fax machine and he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who owns a fax machine. What we have here is more of a sneak preview about the consequences of this concoction, which happens to be neon orange -- a color unaffiliated with any berry having regular genetics. Also noteworthy is the fact that he would "never!!!!" drink it again.

Armageddon is upon us. Why in God's name is 7-11 selling a Slurpee flavor titled "Mutant Berry"?? In a world of "EXTREME" beverages at my disposal with contents like Guarana (which NO ONE knows what it is, but I thought it's what you call bat shit), why would someone want to "mutate" a berry? The title of said drink is, in fact, accurate; it is like no flavor known to the natural world. It is a pomegranate / cherry / lime fusion that I can only describe as "the end of the world ... in a cup." 20 ounces of a frosty beverage that would scare Moses himself right out of his sandals. This is not a good sign of things to come ...

Get on down to 7-11 and let me know what you think. -Nate


radmegan said...

I had a taste of this too! I noticed that all of the Slurpee options were caffeine free EXCEPT for the coke, and Mutant Berry. It struck me as odd, and when I tasted a sample, I realized that the crazy metal + cherry + gasoline flavor truly was a mutant of unnatural things. Go for PiƱa Colada if given the choice!!

xoxo -radmegan

RK47 said...

i liked it