The Stinking Rose (A garlic restaurant): Silence of the Lamb Shank

I recently found myself on a business adventure to San Francisco, so I relied on my trusty Nate's Plate tipsters for recommendations. The first one was for the Stinking Rose -- The Garlic Restaurant, and it was no bum tip.

I called on the walk over and the pre-recorded cheesy fake Italian voice. was promoting dinner reservations. When we arrived and saw all the people dining, as well as people hanging out in the lobby, I felt like a fool for not getting reservations, but my colleague Jason and I got seated right away.

The placed reeked of garlic upon entry, but I quickly adjusted and felt comfortable knowing I definitely wasn't dining in the vicinity of vampires. I was safe from getting my blood sucked on the way home too, because I caught a whiff of myself immediately upon return to my room. I was sure to use all of the 1.0-oz complimentary shower products the next morning.

But, back to dinner. The Stinking Rose offers a lot of wines, including what was being passed off as garlic wine (which I sadly didn't try), but I got the "large" Peroni. In Michigan, a pint is a large beer, but the large beer here is much larger than a pint, which could also be ordered. After receiving our large beers, Jason and I ordered and were served garlic bread. I went to the bathroom to "freshen up" and dinner -- the cleverly named Silence of the Lamb Shank -- arrived right as I returned to the table.



The dish is named so because it comes with a chianti-based glaze and fava beans ... get it? Any way, the lamb shank was just right -- moist tender and succulent, with no knife needed. The meat fell off the bone so easily that I finished the main course before I finished my beer.

After finishing my entree, I was perfectly, comfortably full and totally forgot all about the garlic ice cream dessert I had been anticipating. Blast! I need to go back for that.

Upon awakening the following morning, I was surprised that my mouth didn't taste like garlicky corpses like it normally would after such a clove-fest. How'd they manage to make garlic dishes so that the taste and odor don't stick to my tongue like white on rice? I did have a moment of panic when I got dressed and began to smell cooking odors, but it turned out to be the restaurant downstairs from the hotel and not me.

Nate's Plate definitely declares the Stinking Rose to be a San Francisco treat.

Uncle Bud's Deep Fried Peanuts

As I was shopping at my local high-end grocer the other day, I noticed a new snack product on the shelf near the organic lettuce where I found Snapea Crisps: Uncle Bud's Deep Fried Peanuts. There were a few varieties available, and I chose "Hot." According to Uncle Bud, these are "so good you can et 'm SHELL-N-ALL" (capitalization courtesy of Bud himself).


Normally eating peanut shells would be quite terrible, but I was feeling adventurous. It was nearly 10:30 and I just had two beers, plus I was already in a mood for insomnia, so I figured "anything goes."

The first peanut, shell-on, was nearly flavorless and spiceless, minus the slightest hint of garlic. Perhaps the gum I had been chewing just 10 minutes earlier was interfering. I ate on.

Three peanuts in, the spice was barely growing. I was expecting to wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night with my innards on fire. It was time to try one without the shell. Luckily, many of the shells were split in half, just begging to be removed. Unfortunately, the minimal seasonings did not make it to the inner goodness, so the peanuts tasted plain, if not slightly altered.

Well, now I had a lonely shell sitting there, and I was not about to waste it. Once again, garlic, spice -- a little bit more this time, particularly at the rear sides of the tongue -- and weird peanut shell texture.

I ate the next peanut whole, and it tasted exactly like normal mashed potatoes. At this point, I was not sure what the hell was going on. The most exciting thing that happened during my snacking was the discovery of a single peanut in a single-peanut-sized shell.


Yet, somehow I ate on -- probably because these tasted a lot like normal peanuts, which are pretty damn good. And I did find myself eating them "shell n all" because the soybean oil must have softened the slightly charred shells up. Uncle Bud did one thing right, though: He found a way to get the spice to linger on the tongue for an extended length of time to increase snacking duration.

In a nut shell: You should buy these if you love normal peanuts, are lazy and have a low tolerance for spice.

One man's take on the shrimp system: A guest column

Dear dedicated readers, I hate to repeat a subject so early on but my pal John Thornton has collected his thoughts on my shrimp system and on the joys of shrimp and white wine. I figured it's appropriate to share with you since he and I are once again off to Shrimp Lovers' Tuesday tonight. Here it is, unedited, in the words of the observer.

John Thornton on the shrimp system

It must've been about ought five or six when I was first introduced to Nate's shrimp system. I was a loud-mouthed young buck in those days, veins full of piss and vinegar, thought I knew everything there was to know about eating the various shellfish, including shrimp. Nasty Nate (as we called him those days) invited me to accompany him to "Shrimp Lovers Tuesday" at the local Red Lobster. Owing to my fondness for the Cheddar Bay Biscuits, I agreed.

What I witnessed next changed my dining self forever. When our shrimp arrived, I sat in awe and watched a seasoned master practice his craft. Nate's efficiency of dissecting the little crustaceans was marvelous. Each move of the fork methodical, not a single wasted slice of the knife. It was as if he was channeling Black Flag's "The First Four Years" into an eating system. It was easily the densest batch of jams I had ever seen.

This was my introduction to "Nate Rogers' Shrimp System." Each time I dine at Red Lobster, I use this system.

*Cue "Like a Rock" by Bob Seger*

The shrimp system / Shrimp Lovers' Tuesday

Back in college, my friend John and I used to regularly visit the Red Lobster in Ypsilanti to partake in Shrimp Lovers' Tuesday -- a magical event this side of Cheddar Bay when you can get 40 pieces of shrimp for under $20. I always ordered all scampi.
Well, John is back in town before heading off to grad school, so we hit the Red Lobster in Madison Heights, not only for old times' sake, but also to document the shrimp consumption system I developed over the course of those magical nights. Here it is, fully documented for the first time.

How to get the most out of your shrimp with my shrimp system:

Order as much shrimp as you possibly can. On a Tuesday at Red Lobster, that means four orders, or 40 shrimp. You must order a baked potato and you must order it without sour cream. You’ll see why.
If you are a particularly unreasonable person, you can order more than one meal. The only proper beverage to wash it down with is a white wine, because everyone knows shrimp and white wine go great together. I prefer the Riesling.



1. The first step is to eat all of the shrimp bodies and set the tails aside. Don’t worry; you’re saving all the tail meat for later!



2. As the trays of delicious garlic butter become devoid of shrimp, you can use them and their contents to saturate your baked potato.

This is where the system really starts to work. Pay close attention.

3. Take your fork and stab it through the shrimp tail just behind where the meat runs out.



4. Insert your butter knife under the end of the tail to pry up the shell. Pull the fork away.



5. Holding the end of the knife at the base of the meat where you initially inserted the fork, use the fork to extract the delicious meat.



6. Enjoy the meat that you have successfully saved to savor without getting your hands dirty. Now as a reward, dig into that garlic-butter-saturated baked potato. If you can’t finish it and your friends call you out, remind them to shut their fool mouths because they sure as hell didn’t just eat 40 pieces of shrimp.

So, there you have it folks. I encourage you all to transport your taste buds to the sea shore with a delicious order of shrimp scampi, and to get the most out of it with my shrimp system. Bon appetit!