The Coffee Fairy

Here's a special write-up by request of my coworker, and fellow Team Coffee member, Teresa N.

My first memories of coffee were of my dad making us all sit around at our table at the Olympic Coney Island restaurant, plates empty and napkins crumpled, while he finished sipping his coffee. I would always be annoyed and try to hurry him along.

After that, high school. The only place to hang out was the Coffee Bean and we'd sit there drinking off-white coffee filled with sugar for hours, then somehow manage to sleep like a rock that night.

Nowadays, when I'm at a greasy spoon I always have to order a cup of coffee, if only for tradition -- I get it now, dad! Day-to-day, my morning routine always includes my French press and a super-strong brew. It's more like having a mug of espresso than coffee, which is probably why I can never finish a cup before my drive to the office ends.

So, where do I get my beans?

The Coffee Fairy. He chooses only the finest beans that aren't available in your city and tends to deal with Intelligentsia.

Here he is now!



He lives in LA and occasionally appears in your local office with a bag of beans. If he is feeling especially inspired, he appears at your desk when you least expect it, holding a French press full of fresh brew.

This leads me to believe that he actually managed to smuggle a coffee grinder and French press onto an airplane. And when I say "leads me to believe," I mean this is probably not true but it is what I want to believe.

So how does one get a visit from the Coffee Fairy? Well, just like the Tooth Fairy brings you money after you lose a tooth, the Coffee Fairy brings you delicious freshly roasted whole beans when you lose access to deliciousness ... and after you've promised to buy a coffee grinder and French press.

Popcorn plus yeast = not so bad

The now-famous Russ recently invited a few of us at the office to enjoy some popcorn topped with brewer's yeast. As someone who brews beer, I was anticipating a wholly gross experience, but yeast on popcorn actually tasted quite natural and oddly familiar.

In this video segment of Nate's Plate, you'll see me, Russ, Bridgette and camera-woman Jordan.

Skeezy celebs slingin' salads

If you've met me, you know I am all for ridiculous advertising. However, I find myself questioning the new Carl's Jr. ad promoting salads by way of Kim Kardashian. It's not that I am not proud of the folks who pulled this off, because I truly am and would love to have clients that let me get away with something like this. It's because, to me, the ad doesn't really embrace ridiculousness enough. Maybe it's because I have not been keeping up with Ms. Kardashian. Or maybe it's because I feel like no one who has seen me eat a salad would ever want to have sex with me. What do you think?

Russ has amazing lunches

What better way to return to Nate's Plate than by letting my friend Jordan do my work for me? I cannot escape Jordan. I met her while "interning" at Found Magazine. Then, she got a job across the street from the coffee shop I was known to frequent. Now, she works at the same fancy advertising agency as me. This means she also works with Russ, the man who brought us fried mung beans and sunberries. This makes Russ the most-featured man in Nate's Plate history. Jordan actually sits next to Russ and has noticed something about his lunches: They are amazing.

Dear Nate’s Plate readers,

I would like to tell you about Russ. He sits next to me and his lunches are amazing.

Sometimes I bring a sandwich. I feel rather proud of myself, because I made it. I put the condiment on the bread and it has at least two elements to it (a meat and a cheese). Sometimes, if it’s a ham sandwich, I will mix mayonnaise and Honeycup mustard. Then I feel like I am the greatest.

But this kind of satisfaction would never be enough for Russ, whose lunches come in at least three different containers. I asked him if he ever just eats a sandwich.

“On rare occasion, yeah,” he said. “Not often, though … I’m a huge fan of Zingerman’s sandwiches and that sort of stuff, but it’s hard to recreate that at home.”

Well la dee dah.

He claims that it’s because his dad bought some too-skinny bread when he was a kid and his sandwiches were always falling apart, but I don’t buy it.

I think that he just likes to rub it in my face that he gets to eat lunches like this one:


This lunch consists of homemade latkes, a delicious-looking homemade cookie bar of some sort, and a bean concoction that smells like a warm haven from the doldrums of winter.

This is my lunch:


This lunch consists of Meijer generic goldfish-like crackers, sugar-free hot chocolate, and lip gloss. And that isn’t even the original hot chocolate; I reconstituted the dregs on the bottom by adding more hot water.

Look at him, sitting at his desk by the window, smugly enjoying his satisfying bean concoction (that was quite possibly cooked by his wife, who does yoga but is not a vegetarian (update 06/2010: she IS). GOD, is there anything in Russ’s life that isn’t perfect?):

I'm thankful for "Thanksgiving My Way"

If you're like me, and you don't like using navigation on web sites, here's a link to Thanksgiving My Way!

For my Thanksgiving, my parents and I are headed over to Jayme's parents' house. She'll be there too. So will her brother, two sisters, two dogs and maybe some other friends and significant others. There will not be ham, but I expect to have a few stories when all is said and done.

My friend has crepes!

My colleague Euphenia, who comes to us from Hong Kong, is always showing up at work with delicious food she dreamed up herself, or found in some local restaurant I haven't even heard of. She used to work in our Chicago office, so it's fitting that she'd write a lil review about Icosium Kafe on Not For Tourists.

Check out her review. It might come in handy in the land where I first saw fixed-gear bikes and learned how uptight warehouse-party-throwing hipsters can really be!

Kids in Europe like pizza too

European kids love "pitsa." You might know it by its American name, pizza. Popular toppings include tomatoes, mozzarella and anchovies.