Monday, December 29, 2008

Burger King Flame Broiled Flavored Potato Snacks

Don't give yourself indigestion with worries -- Winners of the High School Lunch Memories Contest will be announced tomorrow.

If you enjoyed my review of Burger King Onion Rings Flavored Snacks, you're in for a real treat -- Burger King Flame Broiled Flavored Potato Snacks. This is the second snack in the Burger King snack trifecta, the other being Ketchup and Fries flavored snacks.

The existence of these chips was foretold to me, and I discovered them one day while waiting in line at the local Blockbuster Video. They sat on my counter, awaiting review, for some time. Then, my power went out and I had no access to my refrigerator and no time to go on a Flavor Quest so I knew it was time to fire up the proverbial grill.

I have to admit that I was a bit nervous as I opened the bag. I grew up in close proximity to a Burger King and the "flame broiled" greasy smoke smell hung heavy in the strip mall adjacent to BK. The smell always made me huffily exhale out of my nose and say, "Ew, Burger King smells gross." I imagine the smell of Burger King is how it would smell if you managed to smoke some grease (the way you'd smoke a turkey breast) and then vaporized it. The smell made me see visions of red brick chimneys on the surrounding houses stained black with Essence of Burger King. I swallowed the fearful lump in my throat and broke the seal.

Whiff one of the bag revealed a smell not at all unlike burnt, over-fried normal potato chips. Bleh. Not at all promising, just like Cabo Chips.

Taste one was rather herb-y, followed by a slight beef taste that immediately made me picture rare "beef medallions." Taste two indicated an attempt at simulating "burger fixins." A mildly herbed tomato was definitely present.

Burger King Flame Broiled Flavored Potato Snacks are a prime example of false advertising, which, in this case, is the best thing they have going for them. The smell I hate (smoked grease) is thankfully not present, replace by one I can at least tolerate. And, most importantly, the simulated jazzed-up low-grade beef taste is spot on.

If I had to associate potential actions I would take with these chips regarding the way I feel about them, I'd say that I would suggest you try them, but I probably wouldn't take one from you if you offered to share.

Perhaps you'd like to try my review of Burger King Onion Rings Flavored Snacks. Or Cabo Chips.


Amber said...

where does burger king get off thinking that they can make chips or any other kind of packaged snack? stick to what you're also not very good at, burger king - warming up pre-cooked, frozen beef patties covered in fake grill marks over a fire.

most biggest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
most biggest said...

CEASE AND DESIST your unfounded decelerations of un-deliciousness. The quality of products authorized by the Burger King corporation is undisputed and worldly recognized.

You have admitted that you are bias against quality products produced by restaurants run by hard working franchisees. You cite scents allegedly given off at an unnamed location which you "grew up by." I don't buy your story or your ability to be an impartial judge of the character of potato chips. More likely you are upset because your "Big Brother" would order you a Kids Meal and then take the toy and give it to one of his real kids.

I challenge you to find a non-liberal intellectual / drunk type who agrees with your half cocked assessment.

Nathan J Rogers said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
most biggest said...

"We've got our own business objectives," he says. "You'll never see me interested in how Burger King Ketchup & Fries stacks up against Doritos in some Nielsen report."

thats right bucking the trend yet again. they don't give two shits about a fake made up nielson report about chips